Become a cash money ghost writer LOL

50 cal

King of the West
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 1
found this on another board


How to Write a L'il Wayne Verse in 10 Easy Steps

1. Pick a Verb. Preferably a verb about running away from the law or from an assailant. I.E. Duck, Run, Dodge or maybe Stop, Drop or Roll. L'il Wayne LOVES stopping, dropping and rolling. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

2. Connnect the verb to some sort of simile. This is crucial. Every single L'il Wayne line must contain some sort of relatively obvious simile. So maybe you can "duck like Scrooge." "Run like a bloody nose." Or even "Dodge like Kansas." You can do metaphors but try to steer away from doing this too often, lest people think that you are a different ghost-writer. That is bad. Also for bonus points talk about how "sweet" you are. L'il Wayne loves talking about being sweet like a Tahitian Treat or some other delicacy high in sucrose.

3. Mention "Slanging Keys." This is crucial to establish street cred. Don't pay attention to the fact that L'il Wayne's been famous since 12 and the only thing he knows about slangin' is that he speaks with it. After all, if you don't talk drugs how else can you impress the translucent Dairy Queen-white music critics. This way they can also compare you to the Wire. (Just remember to connect all that "slanging keys" talk with a simile).

4. Declare that you are Weezy F. Baby. This will tell listeners who you are. Sure, they probably already know, but adding The "F" in the middle of the name uncertainly adds to Wayne's level of class. It makes him seem like F. Scott Fitzgerald. Exactly like F. Scott Fitzgerald. Whatever you do, don't attempt to ascertain what the "F" stands for. That my friends is a slippery slope. And whatever you do, don't think about what the "F" stands for while looking at a picture of Wayne and Baby making out.

5. Talk about hustling. Music critics love hustling. Presumably, they are devotees to the energetic style of basketball popularized by players like Ben Wallace, Kurt Rambis and Mark Madsen. This will make them feel at home. If there's anything music writers know about, it's hustling.

6. Talk about Baby. Call him your Daddy. Forget the fact that he's not actually your Daddy. Forget the fact that the majority of people that call other men "daddy" are prostitutes. It's unimportant. Mention something that Baby told you. Maybe that he told you that "these bitches is bitches." Or that he told you to "Turn around and stick out." (Maybe, he was just quoting Sir-Mix-A-Lot.) Ignore the fact that you call a man named "Baby," "Daddy." Let's just chalk that up to being a New Orleans thing.

7. Make some sort of obvious pop culture technology reference. Talk about IPods. Or Myspace. Or gigabytes. Something remotely technological. It will show that Wayne is not completely retarded (just partially) and might have actually read a newspaper once or twice. Which clearly means he is a genius.

8. Talk about how poorly you treat women. Perhaps you can claim how you'll "never love a bitch." Or how you'll "never give a ho a damn thing." The more misogynistic the better. This will definitely do much to steer people away from those nasty "gay" rumors.

9. Apropos to nothing, make some sort of remark about Hurricane Katrina. No need to bother making it have anything to do with the rest of the verse. After all, never underestimate white liberal guilt. Any sort of name-dropping will make white liberals feel bad and they will forget the fact that Wayne is a multi-millionaire and anoint him the voice of the people. Also, be sure to make wild ridiculous conspiracy theories like claiming that you heard George Bush blew up the levees. The more absurd the better. Go for it.

10. Proclaim yourself the "Greatest Rapper Alive."Forget the Fact that Wayne would be lucky to be included in a list of the Top 20 rappers working right now. Most music critics haven't listened to Hip Hop Made Before 1999 anyway (other than Public Enemy). If you proclaim yourself the greatest, you will be the greatest. Or at least people will be foolish enough to buy this canard.

Now you're On Your Way To Being Cash Money's Newest Ghost-Writer. Fame, Fortune (and anonymity) Await You. Feel free to produce your own little Wayne verse in the comments. Or just send it directly to Cash Money. The Ghostwriting Hotlines are open now!
 

Vice

9ine 2o 5ive Live
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 71
lmao...................

I need to print this out and take it to work, me and some douchbag have been arguing about lil wayne being the best rapper ever....He told me to listen to that mix tape "the drought" and he was sure I would become a fan....lol....I told him almost everything this post points out, and he was like "nah, Weezy is the best, hands down....knobody can touch his skills"....I know everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I want to slap this guy everytime he says that shit........he's in a wheelchair though, so I get my sweet revenge by moonwalking by him....lol...j/k.
 

Vice

9ine 2o 5ive Live
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 71
He's in a wheelchair cuz he told KRS that Weezy is the best..
Some people dont learn.. Nothin like a diehard fan..

lmao.......

nah, this guy has not liked me for a while, but I think the fact that I hate Weezy adds to it.....I'm his boss so its all good.........

plus he's tryna convert people...theres another guy at this store and he basically thinks Weezy is the best now since he heard that mix tape....I think he was brainwashed or something.....liking Lil Wayne to me is like believing in Scientology......I just don't get it..
 

Relic

Voice of Illmuzik Radio
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 83
Play anything off the BDP album that has "sound of the police" on it..
Then play the shit off any album weezy has ever done,
Remind everyone that this BDP was in like 94.. And it STILL blows away weezy shit...
So how the fuck is he the king...
Its not so bad though unless weezy starts claiming hes the best there ever was... OH wait..
 
T

The Bastard

Guest
i was trying to bang this broad one time . that swore that rap/hip hop music was her life .and lil wayne was her favorite rapper and according to her the best rapper that ever lived.i tried to tell her the dood sucks,especially compared some of the mcs that have come and gone, so i popped in sum cds to prove it to her, i played sum big l wu ,and pun shit cuz they definatly a good example of top niotch mcs, she said it was like noise to her and she couldnt listen to it, i really wanted to smack the bitch. i ended up just dissin her for a long time and i didnt get to smash her. which i regret cuz she was pretty dope, i shoulda just been like yeah boi lil wayne got dat fiyah, or sum shit like that
 

Vice

9ine 2o 5ive Live
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 71
i was trying to bang this broad one time . that swore that rap/hip hop music was her life .and lil wayne was her favorite rapper and according to her the best rapper that ever lived.i tried to tell her the dood sucks,especially compared some of the mcs that have come and gone, so i popped in sum cds to prove it to her, i played sum big l wu ,and pun shit cuz they definatly a good example of top niotch mcs, she said it was like noise to her and she couldnt listen to it, i really wanted to smack the bitch. i ended up just dissin her for a long time and i didnt get to smash her. which i regret cuz she was pretty dope, i shoulda just been like yeah boi lil wayne got dat fiyah, or sum shit like that

lmao......... the first line to this story...made me spit out my soda from laughing....

reminded me of andrew dice clay.........

I was explaining to this other kid how weak weezy is and he was like nah everything the guy says is genious......I was like what the fuck?? I asked him if he listens to Nas, and he said he was to martin luther king ish.......I'm going to show him Pharaohe Monch, cause he said lil wayne has the best metaphors he ever heard......we'll see.......
 

manguino

Pressure Makes Diamonds
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 7
weezy f. baby is way cheesy, needs to start sounding like a grown man
 

Fury

W.W.F.D
ill o.g.
SO SOFT MY LEATHER IS SO SOFT MY HAT IS SO SOFT BABYS LIPS ARE SO SOFT...FUCKIN FAAAGGGGGG KISSSSSIN HIS "DAD" i didnt knoe baby had him like that and u thought a nigga cudnt get somelse to call him his daddy just ask weezy......

P.S..how can u take a rapper named weezy serious??
 

Ominous

OminousRed.com
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 21
I'm with Elemtree on this.

He aint the best... but I think he can hold it down against most emcees. I personally hate emcees that claim to be the best, but there are a few tracks where hit lit it up. Truth be told... every emcee has a pattern. Wezzy ain't the only one.

PS - Kissing dudes is gay... I don't care who it is.
 

Relic

Voice of Illmuzik Radio
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 83
OK Ill even give him that he is doin his thing Tree but the point is, weezy aint the best rapper alive like his man is saying..

I could say that Talib Quali is the best rapper alive and although there would be debate Talib IS more imaginative in what he does.
Wayne to me , with all respect due for what he has accomplished , (and we stayed in the same hotel with the cat doin the same show back when homeboy was still broke carrying his own luggage to a shitty room like we were staying in so I know) has a good voice (in the vein of Easy E) and thats it.
Lyrically I dont think you can quote somthing Im going to be dazzled by.
 

static

static yessir
ill o.g.
funny post. but i wont lie "da drought 3" went hard.

but im getting tired of him BUT never the less id rather hear him then baby's retarded ass.
all i have to say to wayne is dont be too much like "your daddy"

oh and naw he is not the best rapper alive.
dudes cocky like kanye.
his style is sick though.
 

Agent Smith

IllMuzik Junkie
ill o.g.
lil wayne. i bet i could ghost write him a verse right now...complete with wack punch lines that aren't even that creative that kids think are mind bending.
here goes.

ahem...


it's young weezy, got skillz fa dayz
nobody touchin me like a cactus with aids
back in tha dayz baby told me to stay cold
like a cold forty baby call me too cold to hold...
understand it...nobody hot like yo man is
hot like the stove where yo momma's fryin pan is
slangin keys like a lock smith, talk shit
and you'll be swiss cheezed right in the spot where the glock hit...
it's weezy pleez beleev me
i'm like a curlin iron cuz all theez bitchez wanna squeez me....
get out the way cuz we rollin like bikers
holdin massive shit...like godzilla's diapers
its that dope muzik...crack my cd's wrapper
i'm all you need, call me the i-pod smasher
ask who's the dopest, yall already got the answer
i'm fly like reindeer, like dasher and dancer...


cash money.
 

Sanova

Guess Who's Back
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 9
but no.


Lil wayne, weezy, weezy f baby, birdman junior whatever is WACK.

I almost got into a fight cuz some nigga was gettin in my face yellin at me that wayne is the greatest rapper ever. so i had to use force, but i guess he wasn't completely retarded cuz he kept his distance after that.

but.. "Dear Mr. Toilet, I'm the shit. Other people mad cuz my toilet paper's thick" how wack is that......

Also, he is a certified thug ever since he shot himself in the chest and got "bang bang" tatted around the wound. Thats also gay.

Only thing i can say to credit him is that he can be catchy.

but good? no. great? hell nah. best rapper alive? not in the least.

He's just another skinny, extra medium t shirt wearing, faggot that disses pharrell but wears bape.

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