Showcase - July 15-21, 2019

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ArvinArmani

I'm just a shook one
Battle Points: 88
Yo people, I've made a banger and it made me Write lyrics on it! im not gonna rap them though, i sound cringy cuz im 15. some rhymes need to be fixed and it needs a second verse and i gotta put a flow on it and ... but they are minor edits in my opinion, this is what i have so far. it's my first time writing, except some other rap i wrote which wasn't really my idea behind it.

Here's the beat that i wrote this on :

Here are the lyrics :

they tell us god is love and believe ?
so thats why a kid doesn't have shit to eat, only 5 miles away from telaviv
lets not get in that route, they dont wanna see us say the real facts, so lemme
say some bullshit that i don't even believe. they've told me thats what the people want though

they train us to be a man, a woman, be something they can use in their wars, they dont see you as a human.
we got used to it, thats why we cant see it anymore, and why care when there's sweet lies they tell us everyday to give us hope ?
It's charming aint it ? Brainwash from hollywood, check my golden chain out in the hood though i got no food.
we got fed up by porno everywhere, we dont even notice, that makes you not care about the starvin kids in neighbourhoods.

cuz you thaught life from celebrities, start from the bottom, become a star and you aint never gotta worry bout payin the bills.
all you know is to follow dreams, then you get a 9-5 and life begins to get you on your fuckin knees.
a man once told me that best things in life are free, the things we want are sex, respect, power and money
you forgot all the real life and happiness cuz you were only thaught to prove yourself so others can witness

the others are 300 million people who don't give a fuck about u, they are right to do that though, thats exactly what you do too.
they wanna shine but they gotta survive too, so ______________________________________________

and this is bout ____ing, what the fuck are we living for? on a road trip to the hell that we wishin for

Pardon for making you feel nauseous, i know this sucks.
 
Last edited:
Yo people, I've made a banger and it made me Write lyrics on it! im not gonna rap them though, i sound cringy cuz im 15. some rhymes need to be fixed and it needs a second verse and i gotta put a flow on it and ... but they are minor edits in my opinion, this is what i have so far. it's my first time writing, except some other rap i wrote which wasn't really my idea behind it.

Here's the beat that i wrote this on :

Here are the lyrics :

they tell us god is love and believe ?
so thats why a kid doesn't have shit to eat, only 5 miles away from telaviv
lets not get in that route, they dont wanna see us say the real facts, so lemme
say some bullshit that i don't even believe. they've told me thats what the people want though

they train us to be a man, a woman, be something they can use in their wars, they dont see you as a human.
we got used to it, thats why we cant see it anymore, and why care when there's sweet lies they tell us everyday to give us hope ?
It's charming aint it ? Brainwash from hollywood, check my golden chain out in the hood though i got no food.
we got fed up by porno everywhere, we dont even notice, that makes you not care about the starvin kids in neighbourhoods.

cuz you thaught life from celebrities, start from the bottom, become a star and you aint never gotta worry bout payin the bills.
all you know is to follow dreams, then you get a 9-5 and life begins to get you on your fuckin knees.
a man once told me that best things in life are free, the things we want are sex, respect, power and money
you forgot all the real life and happiness cuz you were only thaught to prove yourself so others can witness

the others are 300 million people who don't give a fuck about u, they are right to do that though, thats exactly what you do too.
they wanna shine but they gotta survive too, so ______________________________________________

and this is bout ____ing, what the fuck are we living for? on a road trip to the hell that we wishin for

Pardon for making you feel nauseous, i know this sucks.
Bro have some confidence in yourself and spit that shit. You gotta start somewhere. Practice it till you got it memorized and record it. Producers gotta be able to spit too these days.
 

ArvinArmani

I'm just a shook one
Battle Points: 88
Bro have some confidence in yourself and spit that shit. You gotta start somewhere. Practice it till you got it memorized and record it. Producers gotta be able to spit too these days.
bro im 15, when you're 15 you don't sound good bc of the body changes. thats just facts. Imma practice when im alone though, as i think i would be improved with the flows and stuff like that through time. i may record my raps but i wont release it, as it would sound fucked up if i do.

btw this is to all of you, imma check your stuff out when my vpn is fixed again, there's something wrong with it since yesterday, and audiomack got blocked last week, so i dont even know about the biu
 
Last edited:

ArvinArmani

I'm just a shook one
Battle Points: 88
like the drippy chillin on an island vibe.

this is not a good beat, to me at least. sometimes the sample just ain't good enough, you know, u just tweak it with a lil hope to make dope outta it, but you cant anyways. or maybe its just me, idk maybe your beat sounds good. its not my flavor. if u want to get more specific, the hats on your drums were awesome, but i didn't like your kick and snare. neither the timing nor the sounds. the vocal samples that go "eee ee eee" should go away once in a while, as they tire the ear. at 1:30 u change the beat a lil bit, thats great, the way u tried to do it was awesome too, but the execution was poor. i'd also add piano chords to the beat.
 

ArvinArmani

I'm just a shook one
Battle Points: 88
one bad thing is the snares and claps. they both sound shitty. how u timed the kicks were good, but the sound u picked was trash. another thing i didn't like is that the beat gets boring, cuz u dont add anything. and u know the parts at the end of the bar that u made the beat go silent and come back real fast ? the sound shouldn't go 100% silent, at least i wont do that. and it gets silent too fast, i'd give it more time. the way you chose the synth was really good, how you used it was Good, but not that good, it could be way better.

i think thats all i can tell you. maybe playing with the 808s more could improve your beat too. it's kinda an incomplete beat so there's a huge variety of changes to make on it. the main problem is that it does have a good vibe, but you don't get the roots of that vibe into the beat. thats kinda the way trap beats suck these days, there aint no emotion in them. just listen to mercy by kanye and you see what i mean, the dark vibe on that beat is Awesome, and people like it even though its only made of 3 notes.
 
one bad thing is the snares and claps. they both sound shitty. how u timed the kicks were good, but the sound u picked was trash. another thing i didn't like is that the beat gets boring, cuz u dont add anything. and u know the parts at the end of the bar that u made the beat go silent and come back real fast ? the sound shouldn't go 100% silent, at least i wont do that. and it gets silent too fast, i'd give it more time. the way you chose the synth was really good, how you used it was Good, but not that good, it could be way better.

i think thats all i can tell you. maybe playing with the 808s more could improve your beat too. it's kinda an incomplete beat so there's a huge variety of changes to make on it. the main problem is that it does have a good vibe, but you don't get the roots of that vibe into the beat. thats kinda the way trap beats suck these days, there aint no emotion in them. just listen to mercy by kanye and you see what i mean, the dark vibe on that beat is Awesome, and people like it even though its only made of 3 notes.
Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate your opinion.
 

Monsieur Jo

Bumble Boy
Yo people, I've made a banger and it made me Write lyrics on it! im not gonna rap them though, i sound cringy cuz im 15. some rhymes need to be fixed and it needs a second verse and i gotta put a flow on it and ... but they are minor edits in my opinion, this is what i have so far. it's my first time writing, except some other rap i wrote which wasn't really my idea behind it.

Here's the beat that i wrote this on :

Here are the lyrics :

they tell us god is love and believe ?
so thats why a kid doesn't have shit to eat, only 5 miles away from telaviv
lets not get in that route, they dont wanna see us say the real facts, so lemme
say some bullshit that i don't even believe. they've told me thats what the people want though

they train us to be a man, a woman, be something they can use in their wars, they dont see you as a human.
we got used to it, thats why we cant see it anymore, and why care when there's sweet lies they tell us everyday to give us hope ?
It's charming aint it ? Brainwash from hollywood, check my golden chain out in the hood though i got no food.
we got fed up by porno everywhere, we dont even notice, that makes you not care about the starvin kids in neighbourhoods.

cuz you thaught life from celebrities, start from the bottom, become a star and you aint never gotta worry bout payin the bills.
all you know is to follow dreams, then you get a 9-5 and life begins to get you on your fuckin knees.
a man once told me that best things in life are free, the things we want are sex, respect, power and money
you forgot all the real life and happiness cuz you were only thaught to prove yourself so others can witness

the others are 300 million people who don't give a fuck about u, they are right to do that though, thats exactly what you do too.
they wanna shine but they gotta survive too, so ______________________________________________

and this is bout ____ing, what the fuck are we living for? on a road trip to the hell that we wishin for

Pardon for making you feel nauseous, i know this sucks.
Hard Beat brother
 
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